I thought that weaning from breast to bottle was going to be easy. I had been determined from the first latch that I would nurse until 6 months and then start the weaning process to formula so that I could either go back to school or work. Well didn't I learn my lesson to never plan anything in advance when talking about motherhood and reaching certain goals.
Here we are 8 months later to the day, and even though I have started the weaning process I am still breast feeding during the night. It is definitely not for his benefit, as at this point he could care less if he is being fed by breast or bottle as long as he is being fed. But the mommy seems to be having a hard time with the "broken bond".
I didn't think that I would enjoy the time that I was going to spend with my new little baby latched to the front of me. But almost right after delivery the doctor latched him to me to be fed, and I instantly fell in love with the little man looking up at me while having his first meal out of the womb. It was a bond like no other ever felt and I was happy to be at his beck and call... Even day two when he cluster fed for hours on end.
At this point I was still convinced that come 6 months I would start to wean and be done nursing completely before 7 months. I was missing the freedom of not wearing nursing appropriate clothing and having to find an "acceptable" place to nurse when out in public. So to prepare periodically I would pack a bottle when I was going out to give him to get used to the idea of formula, and 9 times out of 10 I would still nurse. This is when I realized that this was going to be a toughy.
Fast forward to this last week when I found out that I was going back to work, and I am being forced to wean. The first bottle feeding was really the only tough one for Tomasso. Because I have not been giving him bottles, he had forgotten how to latch to the nipple of the bottle, and was getting really frustrated the first feeding. However after he got the hang of it he was smooth sailing. Enter the feelings of sadness from the mommy. It was like a piece of me was missing...
I know that for Tomasso consistency is important, so I have been sticking to the formula/bottle feedings during the day... However night time is a different story. I give him a bottle right before bed, BUT if he wakes through the night I am definitely nursing him. Call me crazy, but I love the bond we have while he is nursing, and had I not had to return to work I would probably nurse until he self weaned... Again crazy I know, but I honestly love "us" time and I am going to miss it daily when I am back to work full time.
So night nursing will continue until he self weans or until my supply disappears, I am sure that eventually I will love the freedom that comes with bottle feeding, but as I walk through the mall and see a mommy with a baby nursing I will definitely be envious.
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