Is there a "right time" to have baby number 2?!



As I sit here sipping my delicious candy cane hot chocolate I can't help but think about baby number two... And if there is a "right" time to once again embark on the nine month journey to mother hood for a second time. The whole time I was pregnant I always said that I wanted to wait until Tomasso was a year old to even start trying to get pregnant. However now that he is approaching toddler age I feel as though I am ready right now to give er another go.

Realistically speaking, now isn't the time. Mostly financially. I work Monday to Friday, however server hours are not as lucrative as people on the outside may think. I am lucky to get in 35 hours a week right now even though I picked up two kitchen shifts, and I believe you need 600 hours of insurable earnings from the year before your last day... I just found that number through google, however I had previously thought that it was 950 hours before your last day. If it is the 950hrs than I have a long way to go to successfully accumulate the hours before I even attempt to once again get pregnant. HOWEVER if it is only 600 than I can have those in as little as 20 weeks... Which would mean that I could once again attempt to get pregnant in April, which is kind of sounding like a good month.

The more I think about it, the more I am coming to the conclusion that there is no "right" time to get pregnant. Whether it is your first, second, or 10th... Having a baby is a miracle, but timing it doesn't always make it easier. I am not too sure that people are ever really ready for a baby, but that the sheer joy of finding out you're pregnant is what truly makes you ready?! Thoughts?!

Our first summer together... Going to miss our time outside

This being the first summer that I had with my sun we spent a lot of time outside. Mostly going for walks and enjoying the nice weather. Some days we would head to the pool and others to the park, but I was adament about getting him outside at lest for a small period each and every day unless it was raining. I sure didn't want to be cooped up in the condo all summer, and as young as he was this summer, I am positive he enjoyed his time outside aswell... I am not going to write in this blog... It is more just a scrapbook of our time out and about :)

Our first walk to Timmies

All smiles

Canada day at the beach

Franklins Garden

Chilling in his shade tent

"yup, I'm standing... no big deal mom"

There are so many more, but bed is calling my name. So they will have to wait :)

A cloth bum makes for a happy bum :)

Another decision that I made before giving birth to Tomasso was the one to purchase and use cloth diapers... It had been something that I had wanted to do before even thinking about having children and I was surprised to find myself shopping for cloth diapers months before Tomasso was due to arrive.

Now to be totally honest I have gone back and forth between disposables and his cloth diapers, and I always go back to cloth. I don't know why I continue to waste money on disposables... He always gets a red bum after one wear and I notice a huge difference in his sensitive skin when he is in a disposable. Partly because Nello still can't manage to properly change a cloth diaper, but that is no excuse. I definitely need to make more of an effort to keep him in cloth 99% of the time. He is much more comfortable in cloth and it is better for the environment as well as cheaper... More money in my pocket means that I get to shop more :)


 

To each their own, but I choose natural and organic...

As I said, the way in which parents raise their kids is their prerogative, I would never push my nutritional decisions on someone who didn't ask. With that being said, this is my blog so I will voice my opinion.

Sooo.... As of recently I have caught a lot of flack about how my husband and I choose to feed Tomasso. We have heard it all from; "how do you know organic is really better", or "why are you spending money on that" to "just feed him anything it isn't going to hurt him". And I get it, I as well am skeptical about certain organic products, but in all honestly if it is even just a fraction better for him than all the processed junk out there than I am happy.

Let's face it folks, Canada's youth today are getting unhealthier by the year. According to a recent study 26% of young Canadians are overweight or obese. Guys that is 1 in 4 youth ages 2 to 17. That number three decades ago was only 12%. That is an insane jump. Now I am not one to tell people how to raise their kids, or what they should or shouldn't eat, but I will not allow my child to be one of those statistics. It is insane, and in most cases the parents fault not the child's.

Today's society is one of convenience and getting things done quick. Even on important decisions such as meals. I understand that McDonald's is quick, and have apparently introduced healthy options, but it is still processed crap. As cruel and some people may think, as long as I can help it, my child will not be eating fast food. There are plenty of healthy alternatives that I am sure he will enjoy just the same without loading his body with sugar and preservative. Another thing that I will limit to "barely ever" is juice, the reports I have read on the sugar content and the harm it has done to children's teeth in disgusting there is no need for a child at any age to have that high of a sugar intake. And pop... HA that is not going to happen, there is nothing worse than watching a child down a can of pop... Only to ask for another. Tomasso drinks a ton of water daily and loves it, why would I substitute that for a glass of sugar?!

Before Tomasso was even born Nello and I discussed the fact that he would be raised on a natural as possible diet for as long as we could control it. Yes I buy him organic fruits and vegetables, and recently I even switched him to organic whole milk. His cereals, and even MumMums are organic and processed as little as possible. He eats whole grain breads and pastas. And when he is older and able to eat a wider range of foods I will buy even less processed for him. This is our decision as parents, and I am so sick of defending it and even arguing with people over it. I do not criticize anyone for their choices and find it highly annoying when people feel the need to criticize mine. I have absolutely no problem with a healthy debate or discussion on ANY topic... But most people seem to forget that everyone is entitled to an opinion: right, wrong, or indifferent....

I want my child to be healthy and happy and not have the health issues associated with being over weight or obese. I want him to have a long happy life and if that means being the mean parents who would rather him eat healthy than go the easy route such as McDonald's or Wendy's or any of the other fast food joints around than so be it... I guess that's us. 



Work life balance... So important, so difficult to achieve

While in school I often came across the issue of work life balance and the trials and tribulations that came with achieving it. I actually remember writing a paper on the importance of work life balance especially in the case of parents, and thinking; "wow that's rough, but it has to be avoidable". Well let me tell you after my first few days back at work, I can now say first hand, it ain't easy.

While I am still in training my shifts are currently all over the place and no where near what my actual schedule will be like once the management decides that my re-hire training is done. However today has been the closest to a normal shift for me thus far. And I am praying that I can get my days down to a science once my schedule is consistant.

Basically this was my day;

I set the alarm for 6:30am so that I could shower and get ready before Tomasso woke up. This was done successfully and I even had time to have a bowl of cereal considering BOTH Tomasso and Nello slept until almost 8am... And not going to lie I was not impressed that I got up so early and they had the luxury of sleeping in. But at the same time the few minutes of me time before my hectic day were nice... A double edge sword I guess.

And off to Nonna's we went... And then off to work I went...

Now you're probably thinking, that sounds pretty balanced and like a normal day for anyone who works with a child(ren). I 100% agree, this is probably most working moms morning ritual, of course more detailed I am sure I can speak for most moms that there is also a starbucks stop in there at some point between waking up and getting to work. But it is the after work time that I am speaking of!!

I definitely give credit where it is due, and this is probably the most deserved that I have ever come across. Working moms deserve the utmost respect and recognition. My first taste of what it is going to be like every day after work was quite a surprise...

Who's weaning who?!

I thought that weaning from breast to bottle was going to be easy. I had been determined from the first latch that I would nurse until 6 months and then start the weaning process to formula so that I could either go back to school or work. Well didn't I learn my lesson to never plan anything in advance when talking about motherhood and reaching certain goals.

Here we are 8 months later to the day, and even though I have started the weaning process I am still breast feeding during the night. It is definitely not for his benefit, as at this point he could care less if he is being fed by breast or bottle as long as he is being fed. But the mommy seems to be having a hard time with the "broken bond".

I didn't think that I would enjoy the time that I was going to spend with my new little baby latched to the front of me. But almost right after delivery the doctor latched him to me to be fed, and I instantly fell in love with the little man looking up at me while having his first meal out of the womb. It was a bond like no other ever felt and I was happy to be at his beck and call... Even day two when he cluster fed for hours on end.

At this point I was still convinced that come 6 months I would start to wean and be done nursing completely before 7 months. I was missing the freedom of not wearing nursing appropriate clothing and having to find an "acceptable" place to nurse when out in public. So to prepare periodically I would pack a bottle when I was going out to give him to get used to the idea of formula, and 9 times out of 10 I would still nurse. This is when I realized that this was going to be a toughy.

Fast forward to this last week when I found out that I was going back to work, and I am being forced to wean. The first bottle feeding was really the only tough one for Tomasso. Because I have not been giving him bottles, he had forgotten how to latch to the nipple of the bottle, and was getting really frustrated the first feeding. However after he got the hang of it he was smooth sailing. Enter the feelings of sadness from the mommy. It was like a piece of me was missing...

I know that for Tomasso consistency is important, so I have been sticking to the formula/bottle feedings during the day... However night time is a different story. I give him a bottle right before bed, BUT if he wakes through the night I am definitely nursing him. Call me crazy, but I love the bond we have while he is nursing, and had I not had to return to work I would probably nurse until he self weaned... Again crazy I know, but I honestly love "us" time and I am going to miss it daily when I am back to work full time.

So night nursing will continue until he self weans or until my supply disappears, I am sure that eventually I will love the freedom that comes with bottle feeding, but as I walk through the mall and see a mommy with a baby nursing I will definitely be envious.

First day back at work... Not so great for mommy!!

Well it's been almost a year since my last blog, I definitely thought that I would have kept up with it religiously but clearly that was not the case. Blogging got put on the back burner while I consumed my life with my precious little miracle. But I digress, this is a blog about my first day back at work (I will do some update blogs in the near future)



A couple weeks ago I decided that it would be a good idea to go back to work to try and take some of the burden off my hubby and help out financially. I was not approved for maternity leave and have been not working since I was two months pregnant, so for over a year we have been living off of one income (not great for a couple who are used to spending). Leading up to today I had some concerns about going back to work and leaving my precious baby boy at home, but nothing could have prepared me for the overwhelming sense of sadness I felt leading up to walking out that door.


As I said the days leading up to today were pretty much normal. I mean I would think about not being with my son every second of the day and would get upset, but it would quickly leave my mind as he smiled, laughed or did something equally amazing in his mama's eyes. Then I woke up this morning and felt like I had been hit by a truck. It was like my world was coming to an end, and nothing would ever be the same again. For the last 8 months I have spent every day with my son and never left him with anyone for more than a couple hours, and never left him knowing that I couldn't return at the slightest thought of missing him.


We woke up around 9 as per usual and I was determined to spend every last minute with him before I went to work. And at this point I should probably mention that  my first shift back was a two hour training seminar... I know it sounds crazy, two hours, and I am this upset... But it's true. I was devastated!!! I attempted to keep his "routine" as normal as possible, after all there was no need to upset his daily "routine". But I felt myself continuously distracted with the thought of leaving him for those couple hours. By his morning nap I had broke down crying twice and sent his father a text saying that I didn't think that I was going to be able to leave him. By the time that he fell asleep for his nap I wanted nothing more than to curl up with him and cuddle the whole time he slept, and believe me I thought about it. And then the reality set in that I had to go to work in a couple hours, so in the shower I went and got ready for work.


Again when he woke up, I wanted to spend every minute with him. So we played and read books, and before I knew it, it was 2 and he needed to have lunch before I went to work. My MIL was going to be here for 2:30 and I didn't have much time. So we sat down and I fed him his lunch... He ate just as good as normal and was as happy as can be. Then his father called... Well that sent me into another breakdown and the tears started flowing, poor Tomasso just sat there looking at me confused. Probably thinking that I was one emotionally unstable mommy today. Seeing the look on his face I quickly got myself together and finished feeding him his lunch. At which point I realized that I hadn't made any bottles, nor had I made a list of things that he needed or may need for the couple hours I was gone. Frantically I made the most ridiculously long list that I have ever seen. It listed everything that he had done, eaten, would want to do, would need to eat, etc etc. And I waited for my MIL to arrive.


When she got here I quickly gathered my stuff, and grabbed Tomasso got a slobbery kiss and went out the door half expecting to hear him cry or whine... Even a small cry. But nope, nothing!! And there I went teary eyed wishing I could turn around and walk right back in that door.


I get to work, and I feel not bad. A couple people ask how I am doing and I tear up, but keep it together. We get into the training groove and I am feeling pretty good about everything. I was scheduled from 3 to 5... Not bad two hours I just keep telling myself that I am ok and that I can do it. Well 5:00 rolls around and we are about 45mins behind schedule...
That's when I start to freak out. I started to get shaky and tense and just wanted to scream. I check my phone and have missed calls from the hubby which sends me into a frenzy. I was sitting there and felt like I couldn't stop moving and shifting in my seat. It was horrible, I started to sweat and feel sick to my stomach. Finally at almost 6 the training seminar is done and I quickly reset the table we were sitting at and Nello is there to pick me up.


I get in the car geared up to go home and see my precious little man and he drops what to me seems like the end of the world. He wants to do groceries quickly before going home... and the waterworks start just a flowing. I realized that Tomasso wouldn't have eaten since 3:30 and that he was due to eat his solids and have another bottle... All of which I didn't leave instructions for because I thought I would be done by 5. I started freaking out and begging to go home... Reluctantly he brought me home, and I couldn't get in the door fast enough!!!


I walked in dropped all my stuff and grabbed him from my MIL... I didn't want to put him down!! I had never missed anyone like I missed him while I was gone, and I have never in my life felt the love for anyone that I have for that little boy. His hugs when I got home made me feel like a million bucks.


Everyone tells me that it will get easier, and I am sure that it will. But today was one of the hardest, if not the hardest day of my life and one that I will never forget. For today I realized that my purpose in life was to be a mother, and unfortunately going back to work is one of the sacrifices I have to make as a mother in order to provide for the most important person in my life, my son.